Foods I hate

By: Yousef Awara

Hey everyone! I'm Yousef, and I'm back with my second blog. Today, I thought I could talk about something fun without any meaningful advice, so I will be yapping about foods that shouldn’t exist. Let’s start with ketchup. It is an unpopular opinion, but it is the worst condiment in existence. It ruins the flavour of the food and looks unappetizing. Whoever made this abomination is definitely a CIA agent trying to find new torture methods to use on us. MKultra does not hold water compared to this elaborate plot that they unleashed on us. Anyways, just use mayo, mustard, or anything else. Even those aren’t that great, but you won’t be in agony eating them…. 

…Also, there are food items worse than ketchup. For example, kale tastes like mouthwash purposefully designed for maximum mental agony. Health gurus pushing this abomination are secretly punishing you because some of them are sadists. If you like kale, your brain is tricking you, you are inhumane, or you want to suffer for the fun of it.

And then there is coleslaw. I’m just disappointed it’s a thing. Please, unless you are uncultured, don’t eat it. Every bite I take of coleslaw reminds me of how blessed I am to be an Egyptian. We actually prepare our vegetables right, with flavourful seasonings, and integrate them into large dishes. Abusing your dish, like coleslaw, with mayo is the worst thing you can do. It is the most mid condiment to exist on this earth (not as bad as ketchup, though).  

Finally, let's talk about store-bought fish. Let's admit it: A lot of the fish have been frozen for weeks and taste like rubber once you’ve prepared it. The erasers I used to chew when I was a kid were more appetizing. Going to the local fish market or catching some yourself is a better alternative. Then, there are well-done steaks. Unless you love burnt tires and chewing your food for long periods, you’ll find the meat unpleasant.  

So, kids, do not eat these foods because they are trash. Because this blog is kinda pointless, I am not going to end with a conclusion. Do what you will with this enlightening information, and I’ll be back in a month.